Recently in Anticendents Category

I received this email from a breast friend this morning:

I'm curious when did you discover that you had this attraction to breasts and what is it that you like.? How do you go about rating them? What is an attractive pair and what is not?

My response:

I have liked breasts for as long as I can remember. I can remember my first attempt to draw them. I would have been about five. It wasn't that I was sexually attracted to them at that stage. It's just that I began to realise women were different from men and I was trying to show that in my drawing.

I don't really remember too many more breast incidents until I got to high school. But I guess just as my female friends began to develop my interest in them followed. Certainly by the time I was in second form (Year 8) I had become really interested in bra ads in the Women's Weekly and probably bought my first "girlie" magazine when I was about 15.

What is it about them I like? In a word, everything. Their shape. Their softness. Nipples. The way they bounce. I could go on. Deeper than all that though is the almost overpowering feeling of emotional comfort they provoke in me. This feeling is almost indescribable. When I feel down a bouncing pair of breasts walking along the street (yes of course breasts walk around by themselves) can make me feel immensely better. Particularly if I look up at the eyes of their owner and she smiles at me. Sometimes, I think these women catch a fleeting glimpse of the little boy inside me and feel a great tenderness for him.

I don't rate them. Of course, just like any other part of the body, some breasts are more attractive than others. But I don't think this is like a rating. It's not as if I give them a score for firmness, shape, size or anything else. It's just sometimes you catch a glimpse and find it extremely attractive. Sometimes it's because of the proud way their owner presents them - by proud I don't mean provocative (although this is in another category altogether). I mean a woman who stands straight and knows that in doing so she emphasises her breasts. I read her message as "Yes I have breasts. They are part of me. I don't hide them but I don't go out of my way to emphasise them."

Just on this point (excuse the pun), over the course of my life I have fallen in love with several women who were almost flat chested. And I think they were beautiful because of it. In my opinion breasts can be tiny but still beautiful and attractive.

You ask "What is an attractive pair and what is not?" Hmm, I've already answered this a bit but there are not many breasts I don't find attractive.

It's more about their power than any rating system of attractiveness. 

Have a look at Jordan Matter's project Uncovered. There are many breasts in that book that would not rate highly in a beauty contest but I think they are all beautiful.

I can tell you if a women has a beautiful smile it makes her breasts more attractive. Not sure if that makes any sense but it is as it is. This blog is just as much about exploring my own feelings and trying to understand myself as it is about explaining myself to others.

I hope that goes someway to answering your questions.

Thanks so much for your email.

Don't forget, you can always contribute to the discussion by clicking the Comment button.

From time to time I come back to this topic - where in our transition from boys to men did we become so fascinated with breasts.

Still after 35 years together, my partner still wonders why I am so fascinated with breasts.

We were talking about this again the other day when I remembered what it was like going through early puberty. All these people (ie girls) who used to be more or less just other friends started developing into women. The most obvious external sign of this change was their development of breasts. Even as a father of four (now all adult) daughters, I can have no real idea what this is like for a woman. I can imagine its a bit exciting. Growing up is.

More to my point here is that I do know what it was like as an observer. One the one hand it's fascinating. I would have liked to have known what it was like. What does it feel like? What is it like wearing a bra? How does a bra work? What are all the different types of bras for? Do you feel sexy having breasts? Do you like to show them off? All of a sudden you are starting wear interesting things under your tops - things I now know the names of but then did not. Things like chamisoles.

All this is interesting for an observer, but you know you are not allowed to ask. So you peek. You do want to know what your erstwhile friend's breasts look like but you are not allowed to see them. They become a secret part of a woman's world and they become something that creates a barrier between girls and boys.

I do wonder if our fascination has something to do with wanting to break this barrier down. It doesn't operate at a conscious level but I really do think it's there.