Two of my breast friends (Elisabeth Squires aka The Boob Lady, and Sue Richards of the Breast of Canada) have linked to Guelph's first ever Top Freedom Day of Pride. Stephanie Dearing, in this piece in The Digital Journal felt profoundly uncomfortable about the event.
I can understand her discomfort. A crowd of about 200 "males" turned up to "get a look at women's unclothed breasts." "Many men appeared to think toplessness meant a free peep show. Some of those men were honest about their intentions, while others appeared to feel guilty and fudged about why they were there."
I really can understand why Dearing felt such great discomfort. It raises the terrible dilemma we men face. The sight of a naked breast is such a powerful attractor for us. The urge to look is almost uncontrollable. For a woman this must seem really off.
However, there is another side to the story. As men we are genuinely interested in what it would be like if there was not this terrible stigma about looking at breasts. What would it be like if women's breasts were no more hidden than, say, their arms. It actually would be nice.
We love breasts. Although we're crap at showing our appreciation, that doesn't automatically mean we disrespect women. We might love the dress you're wearing. We might find you quite nicely attractive. That doesn't mean we force ourselves on you. It's just the way it is. We can still respect you.
And so it is with breasts. We can find your breasts attractive (and most of the time we do) but we can still respect you.
So when a whole lot of women turn up at an event and advertise in advance they are going to be top-free, what do you expect us to do? Ignore it? I think the women organisers would be disappointed if that happened. Oggle? No, that's not respectful.
So perhaps we could be there, top-free ourselves to demonstrate support for your cause. We could notice your breasts but not stare at them - as we should all the time.
I saw a guy with a camera in the 'audience' in one of the shots. I think that's quite off.
Somehow, I think we've got to be able to get to the point where we women can be top-free and men don't regard it as an opportunity to be voyeurs.
How we get there I don't know. The women of Guelph who organised and participated are very courageous for trying.
