Antecedents

I was on a Melbourne tram the other day. A few seats up from where I was, a young boy (he must have been about two) was screaming in distress. For some minutes he was inconsolable for all the loving efforts of his mother.

Eventually he quitened just enough to allow his mother to lift him onto her lap, draw him to her and quietly stroke his head. After some minutes of this he quitened altogether and whatever had bothered him became a memory.

My first reaction to this was to remember with fondness, times when our children were young and we lived through similar episodes. Although distressing for a parent, there is nothing quite like it when you know your love and patience has reassured your child.

Secondly I thought briefly about how Freudian psychologists would interpret this episode as an example of the anger we all experience when we first realise that our parents are not able to provide our every instantaneous need and want. But I didn't dwell on that, except that it led me to my next thought.

My third thought was how there is nothing as comforting to a child than to beheld against its mother's breast. As boys and men our attraction to breasts is so strong, so deep and so instantaneous it makes sense to see this as a deep desire to be taken once more to our mother's breast and be comforted. I'll put my hand up for that for one. That this might be something that throws back to our earliest experiences makes sense in explaining what we can't explain any other way. Ask any man why he is so attracted to breasts. He won't be able to tell you, but nine times out of ten he will tell you that breasts are very powerful.

So why don't women have the same experience? Hmm. This could torpedo my argument. My explanation though is that women become mothers. You become the nurturer. Your need to be nurtured is found by nurturing. You become part of the sisterhood. I am a lot convinced by this train of thought.

I'd be interested to know yours.