Men and women looking at each other

I was explaining this new blog to a breast friend today. She was really interested in what I was trying to do which was encouraging.

At one point in the conversation though she stopped me and said that women look at men all the time. We were at a cafe by the beach and although it's now winter, it was easy to conjur up memories from just a few months ago when there were lots of young bodys in swimwear walking and lazing around.

Yes, I agreed, I can believe that women would admire the young fit bodies of the men they say. But, I said, and this is the key point, they don't feel guilty about it. There is no danger that the subject of their admiration will catch them looking and glare back at them burning holes in their self esteem. There is little danger that they will have their face slapped. So while they don't stare women don't have to hide behind bushes or go to extreme lengths to find vantage points to observe without being noticed.

Men are not going to mind being looked at. It's quite nice. Everyone likes to be liked. But we don't have much risk of a women coming up to us and talking to our chest or our groin. Perhaps they should try it. It would be pretty embarassing having someone watch us in our speedos as we rose to the occasion. If it happened everytime we walked on to the beach I think most of us would get really sick of it.

Yes we do look at each other and can admire each other's bodies. But there's a lot of difference in how we do it.

Here are a couple of articles about our guilt from Certified Male

• Sexual Healing for Men by Steve Biddulph
• Crossing Boundaries by Richard Prosapio

I'm not much of a fan of the men's movement vs radical femminists that seems to be characterised by Certified Male, but allowing for that, it is moving stuff.