Sue Richards responded to my post More on breasts what men really think, here.
Sue writes:
For me, knowing that men will drive around the block to catch a second look (as Chris admits to) is good information. I don't waste my time being naive, wondering what is going on. It's clear. They liked what they saw the first time and they want to see it again.
My question is, can the looking be done with respect? Or, how can the looking be done with respect?
This is a question that has been in my mind for a long time. I'd be interested to know what other women think about this.
I think it can. Just as Sue can look at the construction workers, we men should be able to admire what we see with respect.
As a fairly shy male, I got caught up in this for a long time. I was never into wolf whistles or honking. However, quite often I would be walking down the street and see an attractive women coming towards me. I would always check out her breasts. But then I would get embarassed that I had done this and keep my eyes diverted from hers (often having a second glance at her chest as she passed by.)
I don't know what the reaction was most times because I didn't look up to see. But on the occasions I did, the look I got back wasn't very friendly. Suprsise, surprise!
About five years ago, I made a conscious decision to change this behaviour.
I decided that I would try not to let my eyes linger on the breasts of passers by, but rather if I found the woman attractive, I would make eye contact and smile. I can't tell you what a difference that has made to my life. Some of the smiles I have received back have lingered with me for the rest of the day. It is amazing how a smile can change your outlook and lift your spirits,
I am not sure how often the women notice that I noticed their breast before I smiled, but I did determine that I would no longer stare at breasts.
When you look at another person and find that person attractive, I think what you are really attracted to is the story that person tells. For me to see Pamela Anderson, for instance, I don't see a story (or I see a story I don't like) so I don't find her attractive. What you are really attracted to is some form of human connection. The person's body is the container for that person and is the first (and in most cases the only) thing you know about the story. For most people you see, the most you see of the story is told through their eyes.
So, for as long as I live, I think I will find breasts important and attractive. Actually, I hope I do. But I would like the owners of those breasts to know as often as possible that I see more than their breasts. Firstly, I see and observe a whole body and am attracted to how the parts of it compliment each other. Secondly, and more importantly, I see a real living person. A person of worth and that my finding them attractive adds to, rather than detracts, from their feelings of self worth.
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