Breaststories

I received this email from a breast friend this morning:

I'm curious when did you discover that you had this attraction to breasts and what is it that you like.? How do you go about rating them? What is an attractive pair and what is not?

My response:

I have liked breasts for as long as I can remember. I can remember my first attempt to draw them. I would have been about five. It wasn't that I was sexually attracted to them at that stage. It's just that I began to realise women were different from men and I was trying to show that in my drawing.

I don't really remember too many more breast incidents until I got to high school. But I guess just as my female friends began to develop my interest in them followed. Certainly by the time I was in second form (Year 8) I had become really interested in bra ads in the Women's Weekly and probably bought my first "girlie" magazine when I was about 15.

What is it about them I like? In a word, everything. Their shape. Their softness. Nipples. The way they bounce. I could go on. Deeper than all that though is the almost overpowering feeling of emotional comfort they provoke in me. This feeling is almost indescribable. When I feel down a bouncing pair of breasts walking along the street (yes of course breasts walk around by themselves) can make me feel immensely better. Particularly if I look up at the eyes of their owner and she smiles at me. Sometimes, I think these women catch a fleeting glimpse of the little boy inside me and feel a great tenderness for him.

I don't rate them. Of course, just like any other part of the body, some breasts are more attractive than others. But I don't think this is like a rating. It's not as if I give them a score for firmness, shape, size or anything else. It's just sometimes you catch a glimpse and find it extremely attractive. Sometimes it's because of the proud way their owner presents them - by proud I don't mean provocative (although this is in another category altogether). I mean a woman who stands straight and knows that in doing so she emphasises her breasts. I read her message as "Yes I have breasts. They are part of me. I don't hide them but I don't go out of my way to emphasise them."

Just on this point (excuse the pun), over the course of my life I have fallen in love with several women who were almost flat chested. And I think they were beautiful because of it. In my opinion breasts can be tiny but still beautiful and attractive.

You ask "What is an attractive pair and what is not?" Hmm, I've already answered this a bit but there are not many breasts I don't find attractive.

It's more about their power than any rating system of attractiveness. 

Have a look at Jordan Matter's project Uncovered. There are many breasts in that book that would not rate highly in a beauty contest but I think they are all beautiful.

I can tell you if a women has a beautiful smile it makes her breasts more attractive. Not sure if that makes any sense but it is as it is. This blog is just as much about exploring my own feelings and trying to understand myself as it is about explaining myself to others.

I hope that goes someway to answering your questions.

Thanks so much for your email.

Don't forget, you can always contribute to the discussion by clicking the Comment button.

My two observations for today:

• Women truly are beautiful creatures.

• Summer is just a fantastic time of year.

It is already (at 11:30am) quite a warm day in Melbourne and I have just arrived in the city. As soon as I stepped out from the (underground) loop station onto the street the summer fashion hit me

Oh that black spaghetti strap top matched with the horizontal black and white striped stretchy mini skirt on your fit young body. I wish I could just call out to you and say you look stunning. If I knew you as a work colleague (say) I probably wouldn't use the word "stunning" at work. I might say that outfit is really lovely.

Oh, that looks like an evening dress with the silver grey strapless bodice and flowing black gown. On a day like today I think you can just get away with it depending where you're going. Don't get me wrong. You look really stunning in it (and this time I do mean stunning) its just that it would be a bit overdressed for just the office.

So many of you are wearing short shorts and I feel a tinge of jealousy. You have such fantastic young figures you look just great in them.  Approaching 60 I am carrying about 20kg and the days when I could look sexy in a pair of shorts are long gone.

That scooped black t-shirt with ruffles and jeans combined with your stylish short black hair and proud posture will turn heads all day.

Yes I've noticed that most of the short shorts are denim with cuffs. Those denim shorts and the green knitted top really suit you.

The shorts of course also remind me of holidays. Definitely not office wear. You're probably uni students enjoying the last few days of the long summer break and doing some final shopping.

Oh your short shorts and white loose top look great. You're obviously not wearing a bra and demonstrating your small breasts are so firm you don't need to.

I was just about to put my keyboard away and you walked past. That beautifull patterned black flowing dress. My partner describes that type of dress as "shwishy" and she feels very feminine when she wears one. Yours also curves quite beautifully around your breasts and reveals your unbelievably slim waist.

It's all so lovely. And I mean lovely. It shows off how soft, smooth and feminine your bodies are. It evokes such strong feelings in me that I can't really explain. The words that come to mind around it are "lovely", "elegant", "beautiful", "soft" and there is a nuturing earth mother thing about it as well.

Regardless of what it is, it is indeed powerfully evocative.

One of my daughters was trying to find some bathers for summer recently. Being fairly well endowed she was finding it hard to find something that she liked (unusual for a woman I know!!) During our conversation about it she said "I don't like being a booby girl."

What she meant was that she didn't like showing a lot of cleavage. Now if you have hiddenfeet, you will know that's a hard ask in swimwear.

Good on her anyway I say. Be what you want to be!

That makes me wonder though about girls and women who do like to show off their assets. It's summer in Melbourne at the moment and there are lots of boobs to be seen. As a man, I would like to know what a woman thinks when she wears something that show off her boobs.

I'm not for one moment suggesting I think this is an invitation to stare. Sure I think women sometimes wear clothes to look sexy. I do too (although at nearly 60 and 20kg overweight it is not an easy task.) I see these sexy young things and think I would love to look like that.

Google "why do women wear low cut tops" and you will get lots of hits about men complaining that if women want to wear low cut tops we should be able to look as much as we like. I don't think that.

I suspect, like most things women wear low cut tops for lots of different reasons. Sometimes its just because it's a hot day and that's one way of keeping cool. Sometimes, its just to be casual. Sometimes it's to look pretty (no my breastless friends, not sexy - pretty) and yes breasts are pretty.

And of course women, like men, like to be fashionable. So if low cut is in they want to wear low cut.

So when I wonder what women think I am not suggesting women owe me an explanation. If that's what they want to wear then they have every right to wear it. In one sense we can reverse the question and ask "why would a women NOT wear a low cut top?" What is so shocking about breasts that revealing a glimpse of them is so bad.

So finally, my question (like everything on Breaststories) is about understanding. I just want to know what you think? How do you feel? What it's like.

Courtesy of Elisabeth Dale aka "the boob lady."

Summer is such a great time of year breast watching.

It's not just about breasts either. It's just the summer clothes you wear. They're just so pretty. I've made a conscious effort this year to observe your summer clothes in all their styles. 

I've already written about halter tops and halter dresses. My daughters have been helping me with the names for things.

Maxi dresses - lovely. And I mean lovely not sexy (although they can be sexy.) Maxi dresses exude freedom and the carefree nature of summer.

Bare shoulders - how did I forget how beautiful your shoulders are?

Summer tops - again lots of beautiful bare shoulders.

Boob Tube - This fashion item has been back with a vengeance this year. Bare shoulders that emphasise boobs. What could be better?

See through tops - What better than just a hint of transparency with no bra underneath (or, if you must, even with a bra underneath)?

Braless - What other way is there to go on a hot day?

Well that's just a few of my thoughts about summer breasts.

Note: It has been surprisingly hard to find appropriate images for this post. Lots of the online clothing stores have photos of just the item with no model wearing it. How boring can you get? I don't mean boring from a man's perspective. I mean just plain boring. How would I have any idea what that would look like on?

Anyway, it has made me more determined to complete my summer fashion photo essay*. I am looking forward to posting a link to it soon.

* If you were looking for breasts in this link you didn't find them did you? No the link is about the concept of  photo essay! Not about breasts.

I'm not sure if I've been going around with my head in the sand for the last several years or if this just this year's fashion but I have really been noticing a resurgence of halter tops and (particularly) halter dresses this summer.

I'd forgotten how much I like them. Most of the ones I've noticed have plunging necklines (gee, I wonder why I'd notice that?) but strangely, because of the shape of the dress, in a way that's not particularly revealing.

What I find really nice is how this style emphasises the shape of breasts in what I like to call a nice way. Mostly worn without a bra halters almost act as a very soft bra revealing a very natural shape.

And of course, without a bra and from behind and to the side they often reveal parts of your breasts we don't often get to see.

All I can say is 'nice' and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

If you think huge boobs are fantastic, spare a thought for the people who have to carry them around and never get the chance to put them down.

Here's a great article about what it's like to develop big breasts.

Thanks to HiddenFeet for pointing it out.

Also check out this article about Virginal Breast Hypotrophy (VBH).

According to this article in this morning's Herald Sun, "Australian women risk permanent damage to breasts by working out in the wrong type of bra"

Very scary headline. But who carried out the research - bra maker, Berlei (albeit in conjunction with the Australian Institute of Sport.) Not being a bra wearer myself, I can't talk from first hand experience about what it feels like to exercise without a well supporting piece of equipment. However, I do congratulate Berlei for working with the AIS on this issue.

I would like to see the research this article is based on but I suspect the Herald Sun has hyped up a very small piece of it to make a good headline.

What sort of "permanent damage" are they talking about? They don't say. Have they studied the long term effects on women of undertaking vigorous sport with and without a bra? Or are they simply assuming that because breasts bounce more with one bra than another that this bounce will cause long term damage?

I'll leave that to you to decide.

ps: if you want to rasie your blood pressure read some of the male responses to the article.