Breaststories

Some time ago I mentioned my desire to do a photographic essay on breasts. (Unfortunately, the original entry seems to have disappeared from breaststories :-()

I have had a camera for over thirty years now and just love taking photos. Occasionaly I have caught a breast or two unawares in some of my images. Even more occasionaly I have found myself deliberately taking a photo because the result would feature breasts.

I have always had mixed feelings about this. On the one hand I totally reject the over sexualisation of womens' bodies and the way we, as men, treat women as objects. I hate the images in FHM and Ralph. They never show nipples which is supposed to make them more acceptable but in my mind it makes them worse. The fundamental aim of these magazines is to present women for men to oggle (or as we used to say 'perve') at.

On the other hand, breasts are beautiful and evocative of womanhood. When I first started breaststories, one of my breasted friends said "I believe breasts are the most powerful symbol of being a woman." Breasts can make me feel safe and cared for. They can make me feel warm and loved.

For a long time I couldn't sort out these mixed feelings. One seemed tied up with the other.

In starting breaststories, I started to separate the two and to see that it was possible to admire women, to see you as beautiful, attractive and sexual, without demeaning you.

To this end, I wanted to take breaststories one step further and explore my ability to create beautiful, respectful and honouring photographs of breasts.

The first step in this process was to start my first serious photographic project - onethousandfaces - to hone my skill as a photographer.

I am now really happy to be abe to tell you I have taken my first serious shots of breasts. (You can see some of the images here.)

These photos were taken last Saturday at one of Tony Ryan's Empowered Beauty workshops.

It was quite an incredible experience. This was my first ever nude shoot and there were about six photographers all taking photos at the same time. I was a bit apprehensive about this. I thought it could be a bit overpowering for the model. But it wasn't. First off, several of the people there had attended earlier workshops that Tony has fun. Secondly, Tony talked to us beforehand about respect and being aware of when the model may be uncomfortable.

Then when we actually did the shoot, I experienced quite a strong sense of protectiveness. Both for the model and for each other. There was a real sense that we were privileged to be there. It was quite tender - while at the same time being quite hard work.

Finally, as a life long girl-watcher, I was anxious that I would be overpowered by seeing a woman naked. Interestingly, I did not find the experience sexual at all, even though the images undoubtedly have a sexual component.

When we were finished, Jennifer was really interested to see some of the photos we had taken and when she left she said "Thanks. you guys have been great to work with."

Empowered beauty indeed.

I quite often wonder if I'm alone in the way I feel about women.

Right now I'm sitting in a cafe a few tables away from a group of three women who have been having an animated conversation for the past half an hour as women often do. I would love to join them. I love being in the company of women.

As I glance over at them from time to time, I can't help noticing their breasts. Not so much that their breasts are really obvious or that I want to see their breasts. Rather that breasts are so symbolic of womanhood. It is like they are a key to a whole other world that I will never be part of.

Of course the are many other worlds that I will never be part of, but a woman's world is one I would dearly love to be abe to experience. It is not that I want to be a woman - I don't. But I would like to know the experience.

[Ed: Don't faint everybody, this is my first post here for nearly two years. Sorry it has been so long between drinks. I haven't forgotten this blog, just neglected it. Anyway, here goes.]
From time to time in the course or research for this blog,  I type breast related terms into google.

Of course I get lots of porn sites in the results and I try to ignore them. However, being a male, I occasionally wander over there to see what's what. Now I'm pretty slow on the uptake so I'm sure most of you have known about this for years, but I just discovered a new category in the porn sites - "Nipple Slips".

These sites feature images and movies of women accidentally exposing their nipples. My first reaction is 'Yuk.' Of course nipples are going to be accidentally exposed from time to time. For most women, I imagine this ranges from slightly to extremely embarassing, This being the case, let's leave it at that. An accidental slip. I find it quite distasteful that there are people who would want to record that moment of embarassment and share it with potentially millions of others.

Getting past this initial reaction though, I started to think why this should lead to so much fuss. In our culture it is largely OK to expose as much of a breast as you like, as long as you don't show the nipple. Now this is not a universally accepted view. Some would regard any breast exposure as obscene while to others it would not matter if a whole breast including a nipple was exposed. But as a general rule my first statement applies.

Why should it be (or perhaps how did it come to be) that a nipple became such a symbol of lewdity? I don't have an answer for that although I can speak about what it is like from at least one man's point of view.

I am not proud of it, but I have to admit that from time to time I find myself seeking out a nipple sighting. It is as though the whole goal of breast watching is to see, or at least catch a glimpse of a nipple. In this game we play with ourselves, we allow ourselves points for how much of a breast we get to see. (I could go into the simple mindedness of the ritual we adopt but I won't bore you with that.) Regardless of how much else is visible, if you catch a glimpse of a nipple, you get the jackpot.

We know by instinct exactly when to look - if  you are wearing a loose top and the breeze blows or you bend over are a couple of examples. As I said before this is at best mindless but in truth is just disrespectful.

Although I must diverge for a moment here to relay an incident from several years ago. I happened to be quite attracted to one of the women in a group I was working with. It didn't feel the attraction was out of hand. I thought she was pretty and had a lovely smile and I told her how I felt. She also happens to be one of a group of women I have known and liked over the years for having very small breasts. On one occasion when we were working together my friend was sitting next to me and each time she spoke I turned to face her. Whenever I did, my inbuilt radar kicked in and I found myself occasionally looking down her blouse in search of an elusive nipple sighting.

Afterwards, I was quite disappointed with myself and the next time we met I raised the subject with her. I feared raising my behaviour with her as I thought she would be justified in thinking a lot less of me for it. I was surprised then when she wasn't angry. Rather first off my colleague was very gentle with me. She smiled and said "That was really hard to say wasn't it?" Secondly she was quite delighted that she had been able to attract an interest in her breasts. She asked me "What was I wearing that night. I must wear it more often."

I guess the moral of that story is the moral of this blog. The first step to changing our (men's) behaviour towards women is to talk with them.

Maybe if we do that, nipple sightings and nipple slips will fade into insignificance.

A breast is simply a cluster of glands encased in fat. With the progesterone production that comes with puberty, the breasts awaken form their childhood slumber and begin to grow. they may keep developing for as long as four years. No matter how petite, a breast consists of fifteen to twenty lobes of glandular tissue. The lobes themselves encase thousands of tiny glands called alveoli. Like grapes, these are joined by a series ofducts that produce milk during lactation. Each lobe feeds into a single conduit to the nipple, behind which the ducts expand to form small reservoirs called lactiferous sinuses, each less than a tenth of an inch wide. The glandular tissue is cushioned by fat and connective tissue encased in skin, with the whole business connected to the chest wall by ligaments. These are the infamouse Cooper's ligaments, which as they grow weary with age, bring us the dreaded "Cooper's Droop."

And this is the sum total of the geography of the breast: an arguably inelegant sack of fat wrapped around some milk ducts, milk glands, and blood vessels, wrapped in skin and crowned with a nipple. This is what the fuss, the longing, the envy and heartache are all about.

From Stacked by Susan Seligson

I received this email this morning. I really like the idea of "Inner Cleavage" – it is close to representing everything Breaststories is about.

JANE magazine discovered in a recent survey of their readers that a shocking 75% of women say they are unhappy with their breasts. With that in mind, the May issue of JANE features “The JANE Guide to Breast Health” - a comprehensive feature promoting physical and emotional breast health. The guide focuses on positive self-image beginning with a personal essay by Editor Annemarie Conte discussing how she grew to love her asymmetrical breasts. Following the essay is a full-page of photos of real (100% natural) breasts in a variety of shapes and sizes to show readers the large range that is “normal.” The photos combat the media bombardment of false images of “perfection” that just leave women feeling bad about themselves. Each of the photographs is accompanied by the real woman’s reason for loving her breasts. The page also calls out to Jane readers to submit photos of their own breasts and their reasons for loving them to be posted on Jane’s website, janemag.com.

Geralynn Lucas, author of "Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy" will be blogging for Jane’s website, janemag.com, for the month of May. Her first posting on “Inner Cleavage” is up today. “Inner cleavage,” according to Lucas, “is a state of mind. It is a belief that you are sexy regardless of your cup size. It means loving the boobs you own. It doesn't require a plastic surgeon, implants, padding or push up bras. It means that I am not only my bra size.”

The link to the online version of “The JANE Guide to Breast Health” - http://www.janemag.com/magazine/articles/2007/04/BreastGuideMain

The May issue hits newsstands nationwide on April 24th.

I think I've mentioned this show before. I would love to be able to get a DVD of the program. Nevertheless I was reading some of the viewer comments today and come across the following:

I am 27 and since my breasts are so tiny I don't even fit into an A cup I really sympathised with the girls on last night's show and I understand all of the feelings raised. I could write an essay of my own experiences and struggles but the most important point I'd like to raise is this. I realised some time ago that I am about more than my flat chest. Though I lack breast tissue, I still believe that I am all female. I prefer wearing clothes without any bra and therefore without hiding behind padding. This is me and loving myself is what I spend my time on now, not fretting about wanting to be at least an A cup. We are all different but we are all beautiful for we are all unique - I have faith in that and I keep smiling. Jess from Oxford

When I read the part "I still believe that I am all female" I wanted to yell out YES!!!! Throughout my life I have fallen in love with several women with very small breasts and I have thought they were beautiful and sexy because of it. I have noticed a much larger number of women with very small breasts and thought they were beautiful and sexy because of it. And I mean "because of" not "despite".

I recall an incident many years ago when I was at a beach where women often went topfree. It was a very hot day. A woman was wading in the water topfree - although women often went topfree at this beach, it was almost always only while they were lying on their towels. This particular woman had virtually no breasts at all. The only differences between her chest and mine were that it was very smooth and her nipples were larger. But she was walking elegantly with her shoulders back. I thought it was one of the sexiest sights I had ever seen. I thought she just looked beautiful.

I want to say to small breasted women everywhere (as far as it is up to me to say to anyone else how they should feel about themselves) that I think you should be proud of your breasts and that you are all woman.

I congratulate the BBC for running this program.

The Boob Lady has been working on her book for some time.

Here is the cover.

It is to be published this Ocotber.

I'd like to take this opportunity to say what a great resource this site is. If you haven't already, you should visit it.

Sometimes I wish it was otherwise but there is a part of me finely tuned to the appearance of breasts.

You, my breasted friends, all know this. Sometimes you find it amusing. Other times you hate it.

I am referring to the the ability of a prominently breasted woman distracting my attention mid sentence.

Today was the amusing occurrence

In a cafe with my partner.

An older woman was reading a magazine at a nearby table. Until this event I would not even have remembered noticing her.

It was nice time in a nice cafe as my partner and I discussed matters of life importance.

A chance glance over to my left as I paused to think of a word revealed a new page in the magazine. It was a black and white image of a graceful nude woman standing with her arms stretched above her head. It was the type of image you would expect to see in a fine art magazine.

Without hesitation, I commented on this observation to my partner.

It was that type of day and we were in that type of mood.

Knowing me so well, and being in the mood to be amused rather than annoyed my partner laughed, shook her head and said "You've got a built in radar."

It would only be funny if it were not so absolutely true.

I'd like to say sorry.

This could sound flippant but it's not.

Let me explain.

Anyone who has read more than one entry here knows that I love breasts. I think they are beautiful. My breasted friends, I know you are much more than your breasts but your breasts make you women.

For a long time I felt guilty about liking breasts so much. If it's possible for a man to be a feminist, I would be happy to be known as such. I've found myself in the company of women being the first to say "Men are bastards."

"How can a feminist like breasts so much?", I have often asked myself. I still don't know if I have any answer to that question.

As I have written about often here, approaching and turning 50 has brought about a huge change in the way I view breasts and the way I relate to women. I can acknowledge and be honest that I find women attractive and in particular, I have this huge attraction to breasts. Acknowledging that is incredibly liberating. I don't have to feel shame about my breast appreciation. At the same time I am not enslaved to it.

I can acknowledge in myself that this woman has nice breasts. In much the same way that I can acknowledge that she has beautiful eyes, a graceful neck or delicate fingers. (None of this is to say that any person is no more than their appearance or that, in particular, a woman is defined by her beauty.) Having acknowledged that I can move on. I can find out more about this person. Repeating earlier posts again, the first step for me was that when I found myself attracted by and noticing a woman's breasts was to immediately look at her eyes and smile. I'm not sure how many times my breasted friends noticed my initial glance but the smile has generally been returned.

This personal transition is not perfect nor is it complete. I still occasionaly find noticing of a woman's breasts threatening to become a stare. I still sometimes find myself going around the supermarket isle unecessarily just to have one more sighting. I only sort of wish I wouldn't do that.

I started off this post with wanting to say sorry.

Yes I am sorry for all those times when my noticing has turned into a stare and I have made you uncomfortable.

Sometimes your breasts affect me in ways I just don't understand and I am drawn to them. Sometimes I catch a glimpse that is full of delicate intrigue and I become overwhelmed in the moment wanting to hold on to it forever. Somewhere inside me I am dimly aware of what that means but can't be clearer than that it has to do with the power of the female archetype.

None of this is an excuse for making you uncomfortable and often perhaps feel unsafe, but I do offer it as some sort of reason.

So for all those times I am truly sorry.

This disturbs me quite a lot. (Because the whole site is done in Flash, I can't give you a direct link to the page that disturbs me most. Try the photo gallery -> breast enlargement.)

The "good doctor" came to my attention through his ad in the latest issue (#88) of Black+White magazine (more flash but you should find it pretty easily.) In keeping witht the style of the magazine, the photos in his ad are stunningly beautiful. That is, until I realised that they were all photos of his patients.

I am concerned about the medical ethics of using photos of his patients to advertise his practice. However, that's not what concerns me most.

My deepest concern centres on the doctor's belief that his patients are like clay in his hands and his work is art. I guess this is the logical outcome of the way that breast enhancements is generally viewed but I find it sickening. Surely there is a place for cosmetic surgery and we have allowed a blurring of lines between medical expediancy and pleasure. But to blatantly advertise his own work as art surely means the doctor has given up medicine.

My final discomfort however rests in my own reaction. When I view the comparisons as a man - as this man - I mostly find the "before" images to be at least as attractive as the "after' ones. However, if I try to imagine myself fully in the body of the women subjects, I would prefer the 'enhanced' version of myself. There is something about the way breasts are viewed by both men and women that regards more as more valuable and more powerful. I'm not exactly sure where that reaction comes from.